Day 18: On "Cheating"

First of all, a disclosure. I did "cheat" with respect to the conditions I set for myself for this diet, but doing so didn't involve food. I went back to exercising with the dumbbell, which had the same effect as the last time: a near-sleepless night.

With regard to "cheating" in general, it flows from a dissatisfaction at living with a routine, or under a series of constraints. There are two reasons for doing so. The first is emotional, and it's a protest at having to restrict yourself in a way that's galling. The second is more intellectual: it's a self-test for the need of one or more of those restrictions. As long as glibness abounds, the latter reason for deviating might as well be called "rational deviancy."

Whatever the reason, deviating from the routine is something that can be planned ahead for. I note that I rigged things so that any break from routine didn't involve overeating, but exercise. Similar sneakaways can be done with TV, video games, sleeping around, "mental health days," etc. If the overall routine chafes, there are lots of ways to assert oneself, perhaps on the sly, that don't involve food at all.

Speaking of deviating from the routine, the story has ended with a weighing that has changed it into a tale of woe and regret:


Weight as of approx. 6 PM today: on the heavy side of 242 pounds. This weighing may prompt the use of "dumbbell" in a somewhat different context, and not just because I mislabeled yesterday's entry with "Day 16" instead of Day 17. (It's now been corrected.)